It’s true! Singleness is a gift. Though it may not always feel that way, when I can sit and think about all the things I’ve uniquely gained in my singleness, I can confidently say that I am thankful.
Below are 5 gifts I’ve recognized to receive during my time of singleness:
1. Growing a self-awareness of who I am
I know that people can learn a great amount about themselves when they’re in a relationship, I know I did. Along the way of being in a relationship, your partner, hopefully lovingly, will point out their observations about you in an attempt to learn more of who you are and you’ll benefit from this too! However, you don’t need to be in a relationship to learn about yourself. Being single has allowed me to learn about myself in unique ways that involve the perspective of others and not just one person. This requires vulnerability and work. I needed to open myself up to others and invite them to correct me in any ways they saw fit and I’m thankful they have and are continuing to do so.
2. The freedom to go where I want when I want
I don’t want to sound like I just want to do whatever I want without considering another person. To be clear, it would be godly to consider one another just as Paul says in Romans 12 whether this be your partner, family, or just a friend. Being in a relationship requires you to specifically consider your partner - on different degrees depending on whether you’re dating, engaged or married. Either way, there’s at least communication that has to be made that will either have your partner supportive or disappointed in your decision. I hope it’s obvious that I haven’t found the right person yet and that’s probably why I feel this way, but can I just say how ecstatic I feel about not having to “report” where I am and when I’m home? :P Many married people or those with kids will mention how free single people are of responsibilities of being a spouse/parent so I guess that’s worth throwing under here too :)
3. Cultivating deep relationships with others
It’s been sweet to cultivate deep relationships specifically with other women and families because of the time I have. If I were in a relationship, much of my time would be spent with that one person, but because I’m not, I can choose to develop relationships on a level that’s more than just the surface. I believe this point is worth taking advantage of! Again, it requires effort and time, but inviting myself over to have dinner with families with young children and inviting other women over for a meal has truly been a joy.
4. Opportunities to Serve
Moving forward in my singleness, I would also want to be keenly aware not to waste this time. Those who’ve been or are in a relationship know that the transition from singleness to dating can move so quickly. It could be that you don’t have interest in any guy one day, to all of a sudden having butterflies at the thought of them the next day (ugh, feelings). With the time that I have, it’s been so easy for me to be able to sign up for various ministry opportunities and serve others. I can serve God uniquely with my time because of my season, in comparison with a new mother who in their season has to care for their newborn who’s dependent on them.
5. More devoted time with God
In 1 Corinthians, Paul says that he would rather we be single as he is. He says this because those with a husband are concerned about pleasing their husband while those who are single are concerned about things of the Lord (1 Corin. 7). “The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit” (v. 34b). This doesn’t mean that married people don’t care about the things of the Lord - just that those who are single can have more devoted attention to the things of the Lord, and what an awesome thing that is! In my singleness, I can fill my mind with things that are from above. I can spend whole Saturday afternoons reading my Bible, and late weeknights praying. Again, this too takes effort and time but I pray that Spirit would grow the desire for more of Jesus that bible reading and prayer are not things we should do but things we get to do!
Though there may be days, weeks, months or years of eager longing to be in a relationship, I can trust that God cares and sees me - he has not forgotten me. He wants me to move towards him when I’m feeling that way and in any way. God doesn’t promise to give me a spouse, but he does promise to be with me and that all he gives and takes away is truly for my good. I’ve only listed 5 gifts of singleness here but there are many more! For as long as God has me in this season, I pray that I would use each day for his glory!
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