In my last blog post I shared about my season of discontentment in singleness. Seasons of discontentment whatever the situation may be can make it difficult for one to come to God in prayer (or it could be the opposite! It may be easier for you to come to God in prayer during times of discontentment!). In this blog post, I'll be sharing how I prayed in my singleness through different seasons - seasons of discontentment and seasons of thankfulness in it.
A few months ago, I had a friend come over and I asked her how she was doing in her singleness. She had come out of a serious relationship about a year ago and I wanted to check-in on how she was processing that significant life change. She shared that she’s still continuing to feel extremely joyful in her singleness and I wasn't surprised by her answer.
I wasn’t surprised because I saw the fruits that she bore during this time. It was refreshing to see how she had healed from her last break-up and how she had used the last few months to cultivate deep relationships with sisters in the church. I was encouraged by how the Holy Spirit had been working in her over these past few months.
Because this Sister was aware of my discontentment in singless in the past, she asked me how I pray in those seasons and this is what I told her: "Dear God… I want him. Make him like me." She burst into laughter. I was half joking but half serious that I would ask God to make my crush like me (isn’t that what we’d all like?). But on a more serious note, there were other ways that I prayed also.
Depending on what kind of crush it was I would pray differently. For example if it was a little crush that I had with a guy I knew I had no chance with or shouldn't be with, I would pray by asking him to take away the feelings that I had. If this wasn’t going to be a godly relationship, then I didn’t want to feel the way I felt towards that crush, but more times than not, the feelings remained.
I wondered what to make out of situations like that. I know that a relationship with that crush wouldn’t be a good thing, so here I am asking not to feel that way but God isn’t granting my prayer request. I searched my heart again and realized that my crush towards someone who may not be godly stems from my desire for ungodly things. Instead, I began to ask God to help me desire things that are of him. The more I set my gaze on Jesus and on things that are above, the less I would desire such a man whom I felt was not even desiring good things from and of God.
For the guys who I had a crush on and truly thought that things would work out, those are the prayers where I would ask God to make something happen. “Lord, open his eyes and let him see that I'm the one for him." Okay again I'm only half joking about that. What I want to be praying in times like these is a prayer of submission. I can’t do or change things about myself to make my crush like me. Even if that works, it would only go so far. If it’s going to be from God, it needs to be God who opens his mind towards me.
If it’s going to be from God then I need to pray for his Spirit to help me submit to his will. If God allows a relationship to happen, it’d be for our good (not meaning that we would end in marriage) and if God didn’t allow the relationship to happen, it would still be for our good. So instead of trying to push God to make this happen, I want to be surrendering to his will - easier said than done, but can be done by his Spirit!
Now in my seasons of thankfulness in singleness I can rejoice in trusting that the Lord has good for me. My prayers specifically regarding relationships is that I pray he would give me my partner soon because I still do desire marriage but that as I wait I would trust my good Heavenly Father and the plans he has for me. In my seasons of thankfulness in singleness I'm thankful for how I'm able to fill up my time for others that would definitely look different if I were in a relationship. There's a season for everything and in this one, I can rejoice in that my God has a perfect plan in its perfect time.
Comments