I’ve shared a few stories and posts about how thankful I am for my Brothers in the church so I’m sure it’s not a huge surprise that I’d want to now write a whole blog post about it.
I’m so thankful for the Brothers in my church specifically and I hope to personally remind them how much of a blessing they are to me but we’ll start with this!
Before being apart of the church I am currently at, I didn’t think too much about my friendship with guys at the church as friendships.
I often felt that I easily caught feelings for one of them or vise-versa, making a male-female friendship seemingly impossible.
I’ve been a member at my current church for 4 years now and one of the many blessings of being apart of this local body has been the friendships I’ve built with Brothers in the church.
I’ll share specifically how a handful of them have been particularly impactful for me and I’m sure they have no idea because it’s nothing grand but having lost trust in Christian men at some point in my life, it's the little things that end up counting the most.
The first, I’ll call Asher. Asher joined our church about 2 years ago and I could tell he was intentional about his faith when he regularly showed up to church meetings and events. I first observed him from afar and we started hanging out in big groups but didn’t really get to know him. He started to date a Sister of mine and I got to know him a bit more through her. It wasn’t until I was going through a particular trial that had me crying nearly everyday when he showed up for me that made a lasting impact.
A small group of us were going on a camping trip and he drove my friend and I. It was during that car ride where he started to ask questions to get to know us both and I slowly opened up about my current situation (he also knew parts of it because of what his girlfriend had shared). He listened intently and was slow to speak. He asked thoughtful questions and was gentle in his speech. He didn’t know this then, but the morning before he picked us up I was a total wreck. Crying and screaming at the top of my lungs - frustrated, stressed, and losing hope.
He didn’t make things weird as he tried to care for me as his Sister. He didn’t rush out of the conversation to change the topic from fear he would be caring too much. He listened and asked questions.
After the trip, he continued to ask me how I was doing and let me know that he was praying for me when we saw each other in person. Again, nothing weird - no daily text messages to check-in on me, no phone calls or anything else that would be considered inappropriate.
Asher’s not perfect but I’ve witnessed him seek accountability, confess his sin to others, and is quick to remind others to look to Jesus and pray. I’m thankful for Asher!
Then there’s Abe. Abe is gentle and compassionate - super compassionate! The first time I saw him on a Sunday, he had his whole chromebook with him taking notes of the sermon with a hard copy bible. I thought this dude was intense and that he must really love the Lord.
I’ve been encouraged by how he truly fears the Lord and is quick to see his sin and take practical steps to turn away from it.
An impactful part of my friendship with Abe is how he intentionally checks-in and follows up with me on things I’ve previously shared about my life.
You’ll quickly see a pattern here in what I appreciate in these Brothers but again it’s nothing weird - he’s not messaging me every day or anything regular like that but there’s been a few times throughout the year where he asks how I’m now doing with what I’ve previously shared and when I ask him back how he’s doing, he shares openly and honestly.
I appreciate this because it shows that he trusts me with the information and it’s an honour to partake in praying for this Brother. A lot of times when he shares what he’s currently struggling with, his prayer request isn’t that the situation completely changes or goes away but that his heart would be transformed and that God would use the situation to grow his faith and trust in the Lord. So precious and such a blessing to see his heart for the Lord and for others. I’m so thankful for the ways Abe has been open in sharing his life with me and how he remembers to ask about things I shared with him weeks or months ago and prays for me. I’m thankful for Abe!
Lastly, there are 3 Brothers in particular whom I’ve been blessed by mainly through witnessing them love their wives so well.
I’ve also appreciated the Brothers who have developed feelings towards me and instead of making things unclear or confusing, they’ve been bold to directly approach me in asking to go on a date. I believe the culture of clarity in being straight-forward in asking a girl out on a date instead of tip-toeing or playing around with a friendship because they’re scared or insecure has also greatly impacted my respect and trust in Brothers at my church.
In Genesis 34, the author writes about the defiling of Dinah - Jacob’s daughter. Shechem, the son of Hamor the Hivite, seized Dinah one day and forced himself on her (v. 2). When her brothers found out about this, they were indignant and very angry at what had been done (v. 7). His excuse of having forced himself on her was that his soul was drawn to her and so he wanted her as his wife (v. 3, 12).
Dinah’s brother answered deceitfully at his request to have their sister and the other women in their tribe to be their wives because of the wrong that had been done to her (v. 13). They ended up asking all the men to be circumcised in exchange for the women and so Scechem and all the men eagerly did so (v. 19).
A few days after the men were circumcised and very sore, Dinah’s brothers killed the men of the town and took everything that belonged to them including taking back their sister, Dinah (v. 26-29).
All of this was done because they had defiled their sister (v. 27).
Dinah’s father Jacob questioned in fear why they would do this because he knows he would be destroyed if they were to come for them, but her brothers replied, “Should he treat our sister like a prostitute?” (v. 31).
This account is a powerful image of brotherly love towards their sister. Their sister was wronged and at once her brothers were filled with anger towards the one who had caused harm to her. They took action to show how they didn’t approve of the pain that was caused to their sister out of their love towards her. I don’t encourage violence but want to emphasize how extreme her brothers were willing to take action for their sister.
As this story displayed, I am confident that the care of my Brothers for me would go to great lengths. I can’t imagine the pain Dinah experienced in having this man force himself on her and then claim her to be his for some time but I know the actions of her brothers must have brought her some relief and assurance of love and protection. That’s what I’ve experienced from my Brothers - assurance of love and protection, and for that I am thankful to God for them all.
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